At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
