I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You had me at "let me see your balls"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
