help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
