wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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