This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
