It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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