Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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