This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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