did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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