Too much gin, very little bucket
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
