I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He passed out mid-signature
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
