You really coming over, don't trick.
"it" just moved
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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