I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
