It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
