College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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