Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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