You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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