She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
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I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She even gives head with a lisp.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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