I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
