so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
