I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize