Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
