The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
