Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
