why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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