Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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