And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
