Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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