i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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