Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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