he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
