Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Found the puke drawer
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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