I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
