Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
