...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
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I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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