I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
