His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
