It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
