I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the condom got lost in my hair
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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