im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
When are your genitals available?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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