I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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