Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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