Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
