i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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