Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
