well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
