Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
