you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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