I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
