People with herpes should wear stickers.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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