We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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