HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
