Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
