Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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