i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
