I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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