The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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