i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize